Relationship by default or design

At work we have weekly one on ones with our direct reports. At home we rarely create a space or time for direct feedback with our family or an opportunity to let others know where they stand.

At work we create yearly budgets and measure progress against single line items like office supplies. At home we generally spend without knowing where it goes, how much we spent on groceries or clothing or vacations.

At work we lead, we have a role, we encourage constructive conflict, things don’t happen by chance, they happen by design. At home passivity sets in, we avoid conflict or we don’t know how to see conflict as an opportunity to lead.

At work we have yearly off sites to plan the coming year, monthly management meetings, bi-weekly team meetings, daily stand ups. At home we tend to come at our life from a reactionary point of view. How often do you hear about someone taking a day off work to plan their life for the next year?

We spend eight plus hours a day at work. We are rushed in the mornings and tired in the evenings. This would suggest to me that we need to design our relationships outside of work rather than accepting the default.